Eric Mohat: Suicide Due To Bullying

The family of Eric Mohat has waited three long years for justice. As far as I am concerned, their son was murdered. A student at Mentor High School in Mentor, Ohio, Eric was one of those kids who the high school mafia in Mentor, Ohio decided was out of fashion. At 6 foot 1 and 112 pounds, interested in drama and "nerdy" pursuits, every day in the 17 years of his short life was a litany of small torments and insults. Stuffing trash into his clothing, stuffing him into his locker, calling him "fag" and "queer" were daily indignities that were tolerated and ignored by a high school administration that did little to stop the abuse. When a classmate suggested that the world would be better off without him, Eric Mohat decided he had had enough. On March 29, 2007, Eric Mohat killed himself with a single gunshot to his head.

There are suicides that take the world by surprise. Eric Mohat' s suicide was one of four the same year in Mentor High school in the year 2007. For a school of 2900 students, that is a shockingly large cluster of suicides. There are certainly hundreds of other students who are low on the high school social food chain who are living lives of quiet desperation, to whom a year in a miserable life drags on and on.

Is there a bright side to this? Have the people of Mentor, Ohio engaged in agonised soul searching? That would be a happy ending. But Mentor Ohio has decided to paint a happy face on a festering social sore in their midst. After almost three years of community stonewalling and a total lack of remorse, the Mohat family is using the only legal recourse possible against those totally devoid of a conscience. They are filing a lawsuit against the Mentor Ohio school district charging them with standling idly by as their son was tormented by classmates. ABC News reports as follows.

"Eric Mohat, 17, was harassed so mercilessly in high school that when one bully said publicly in class, "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you," he did.

Now his parents, William and Janis Mohat of Mentor, Ohio, have filed a lawsuit in federal court, saying that their son endured name-calling, teasing, constant pushing and shoving and hitting in front of school officials who should have protected him.

The lawsuit -- filed March 27, alleges that the quiet but likable boy, who was involved in theater and music, was called "gay," "fag," "queer" and "homo" and often in front of his teachers. Most of the harassment took place in math class and the teacher -- an athletic coach -- was accused of failing to protect the boy."

The Mohats are not seeking monetary damages. They only want the school to put anti bullying programs into the school curriculum. In the suit, they claim that the school urged parents to stonewall in the investigation that followed their son's suicide. ABC News reports again as follows.

"According to Janet Klee, a counselor at Chrysalis, a suicide survivors support group, who counseled two of the surviving families, the suicides were connected to bullying.

"These kids," said Klee, "were extremely bright, and [the bullies] thought they were nerds. I say that not in a derogative but in a good sense. These were good kids who were easy targets for bullying."

Dan Hughes, whose son Brandon was a friend of Eric's, said he had withdrawn his son from Mentor High School after he was relentlessly bullied. Brandon, now 19 and working, wrote a suicide note, citing the taunts, two weeks after Eric Mohat's death.

"What it boils down to is the football players, cheerleaders and kids with money have a different set of rules than everybody else," Hughes told ABCNews.com.

"It's not that much out of the ordinary, and the disturbing part is the school is more concerned about sweeping it under the rug than getting to the bottom of what's going on," he said."

The lawsuit , which was filed in federal court names names school administrators Jacqueline A. Hoynes and Joseph Spiccia, as well as math teacher Thomas M. Horvath. It does not name the parents of any of those who tormented the Mohat boy. Amazingly enough, three years later, the school remains clueless. , Mentor Public School District communications director Justin Maynor actually said, "Generally, there is a very low incidence of violence at the school. Considering its population, it's a relatively serene place." Maynor maintains that the suicides have nothing to do with bullying.

Unfortunately, people like that can't be stuffed into a locker or pelted with school food. Lawsuits are the only legal recourse against such idiots as Mr. Maynor

There are probably millions of parents and kids to whom Janet Klee's words have the ring of truth. The attitude that "kids will be kids" dismisses acts of violence which would be criminal if committed by adults. And dumbing down behavioral expectations reduces the quality of behavior. When someone realises that there are consequences to hitting, pushing and verbal harassment, then they tend to wise up real quick.

Bullies and victims are often one and the same. A child who is picked on will often try to get a cheap fix for his self esteem by finding another kid lower on the food chain. Breaking the cycle of aggression in a school environment often means cutting through tough exteriors and dealing with fearful youth who may themselves be aggressors.

I have vivid memories of my youth being bullied and bullying others in turn. I am not proud of it, but the memories have radically influenced my parenting. I spend as much time asking about lunch and recess as I do about school. I tell my children, Even if you flunk every subject, if you pass recess and lunch, it will make me proud of you." Parents should be honest with themselves and try to remember with compassion the suffering of their youth and put it to good use in raising their children.

It may sound odd, but it's true. In a corporate environment, social behavioral skills are at least as important as academic standing. Years ago, I observed a guy who was a top jock in school who could peel paint off the wall with a theatrically devastating sneer. In a work environment, he lasted about a week and a half. Pushing the work load on to the "nerds" didn't cut it. He didn't get "detention". He got sent home. A lot of people are set straight in this expensive and painful way.

Social behavior should be a weighted at least as heavily as sports and academics. I have observed learning environments in which this happens. It has a transformative effect that benefits everyone. There are bullies who need to learn to meet their emotional needs in ways that are not predatory. And their are victims that need to learn social skills that will make them less attractive to those who would torment them.

Mentor High School should change its name. The most important job in education is that of a behavioral mentor. Mentor High School has dismissed this critical aspect of their function entirely. They show callous and reckless indifference to the toxic environment in their school.

The Mohat family has been far too kind. They would be well advised to sue the school for monetary damages and to go after the parents of the children who made their son's life a living hell. If they want to donate the money to counseling programs and related charitable causes, that might be more in keeping with their apparently gentle temperament.

Children may be smaller than adults. But their feelings often loom larger in intensity and in force than those of adults. The idea that adults should consign the social world of children to the background like a tank full of pretty piranha fish in the living room should be put to rest.

The weapon of civilised people is courts of law. It is through the courts that legal consequences can be exacted for criminal behavior. If schools will not take harassment seriously, then perhaps they, as well as the parents of the children involved should be brought to task. I salute the Mohat family for seeking redress in the courts. It seems like nothing else has worked in the heartless town of Mentor, Ohio. Even now, I think that the Mohats have been far too kind in limiting the scope of their lawsuit. I wish them success, for their sake and that of the children who continue to suffer in silence.


**********************************************************************************
I rarely write a postscript to an article. But if you are a student who is being bullied, I want you to know that you are not ignored or forgotten. Please hang in there. Speak to someone close to you. There is life after high school. A day will come sooner than you think that you can show others the compassion that you are now denied in your daily life. When this happens, you will feel that your suffering is vindicated. Until then, please, please hang in there.




Who Killed Davey Moore? Sphere: Related Content

Pope's Brother Knew Nothing of Regensburg Abuse Scandal

The brother of Pope Benedict, Georg Ratzinger, a priest in Regensburg, Germany has admitted to using corporal punishment during his tenure as director of the Regensburger Domspatzen, the world renowned choir of the Regensburg Cathedral in Bavaria, Germany has admitted to using corporal punishment during his tenure as the director of the world famous choir. The Daily Mail reports as follows on the revelations, which have turned out to be a side show in a much larger scandal.

The elder brother of the Pontiff made the dramatic confession after reports of abuse at the choir, as well as at several other German schools.

Today in an interview with German paper Passauer Neue Presse Father Georg said: 'I was happy with every choir practice but I have to admit sometimes I did get depressed because we didn't get the right results.

'At the very beginning I would often give clips around the ear even though my conscience was later troubled for doing so.'

Ratzinger's admissions seem trifling in comparison with allegations of sexual abuse that have been swirling around the Regensburger Domspatzen. Indeed, anyone who recalls Catholic schools of the 50's and 60's recalls a far more lax attitude to corporal punishment. It would be fair to say that students today fear of each other more today than students forty years ago feared their teachers.

According to the German Spiegel magazine, a number of former choir members have come forward with allegations of systematic sexual abuse by the director of the boarding school that was set up for the members of the choir. Der Spiegel reports as follows on the latest allegations.

The abuse scandal at the Regensburger omspatzen choir is bigger than had been thought so far. Therapists in and around Munich treated several former choirboys who were traumatized by sexual and other physical abuse. One man affected told SPIEGEL about cruel rituals in the Etterzhausen boarding school, a preparatory school for younger pupils from which the choir draws its recruits.

He said that at the end of the 1950s the headmaster of the school, a Catholic priest, had dealt out hard physical punishments. He had often practiced what was called "naked beatings" in his private rooms, where boys aged eight or nine had to undress and were beaten by hand. In some cases, the victim said, penetration took place."

Those who were in the Regensburg Choir school at the time of the reported abuse express disbelief that Georg Ratzinger was totally unaware of the sexual abuse that was going on during his time there. While no one has accused him of anything more than hitting, those who were abused claim that the sordid episodes were widely known within the school.

The story is unfolding in the larger context of an inquiry into sexual abuse in Catholic schools in Germany. Der Spiegel reports as follows on the less than diligent response of the Catholic Church in Germany to the allegations.

"For years, Jörg D. was plagued by feelings of shame, insecurity and rage. Finally, on Sept. 17, 2009, he sent the pope a four-page letter describing his plight. "I beg you for help, in whatever form possible," he wrote.

But Benedict XVI remained silent. To this day, Jörg D., now 25, has not received a response, "not even a two-liner, nothing, nothing at all.

Franz-Josef Bode, the bishop of the city of Osnabrück in northwestern Germany, hasn't been much help either. He advised D., a victim of abuse, to "forgive and forget."

In fact, Bishop Bode wants all the 14 victims, who at the time were altar boys and children preparing to receive their first communion, to forgive and forget. Over the course of several years, ending in 1995, they were sexually abused a total of 227 times by their priest in a village near the Dutch border. The priest involved, Father Alois B., got off lightly, with only a probation sentence.

"The church was more concerned about the offenders than the victims," says Jörg D. "It provided them with therapy, stays in health resorts, new apartments or new positions, and it assiduously wiped away their old tracks. The abused children were left to fend for themselves."

In any faith, the aura of divine authority that goes with clergy can be an intimidating weapon in the hands of a sick individual willing to use it. Children who are away from home or who are from unstable backgrounds are particularly vulnerable. If you combine the aura of divine authority with the authoritarian regimen of a school, that can be a very dangerous combination. Throw in priestly celibacy and a government that gives the schools free rein and you have a recipe for disaster. Sex abuse has happened in schools of all religions and religious denominations, from the Jehovahs Witnesses to the Amish, from Orthodox Jews to public schools across the country.


Putting the phenomenon of Catholic School sex scandals in a larger context only makes it more disturbing. It turns out that students in public schools are at greater risk of sexual molestation than children in parochial schools. Newsmax reports as follows.

Now, on the heels of the Catholic abuse scandal comes another of historic proportions one that has the potential to be much greater and far-reaching. According to a draft report commissioned by the U.S. Department of Education, in compliance with the 2002 "No Child Left Behind" act signed into law by President Bush, between 6 percent and 10 percent of public school children across the country have been sexually abused or harassed by school employees and teachers.

Charol Shakeshaft, the Hofstra University scholar who prepared the report, said the number of abuse cases which range from unwanted sexual comments to rape could be much higher.

Among the incidents cited in the Newsmax article, the following two items rose well above the level of anecdotal evidence.


"Also in Washington, state officials say 159 coaches of girls sports have been fired or reprimanded over the last decade for sexual misconduct."

"An investigation found more than 60 instances in the last four years of Texas high school and middle school coaches losing jobs as a result of allegations of sexual misconduct."

Other experts using different methods came up with lower figures. Education Week relied six years earlier on news reports. Nan Stein of Wellesley College said that she believed that several hundred cases occurred annually. It is generally agreed that the numbers are not statistically insignificant.

Whether it occurs in religious schools or public schools, children must be protected. Correcting the systemic problems that make abuse even thinkable in academic surroundings will be task that will differ from one school system to another. Germany's Catholic schools certainly bear little resemblance to the New York City public schools, yet both have house cleaning and soul searching to do. Each crime has its own underlying psychology. And each institution has to correct its blind spots and weaknesses.

Sexual abuse can create a multitude of psychological problems further down the line. Parents whose children have left the faith in which they are raised find out too often that molestation preceded a loss of religious faith and practice. Viewed in this light, cleaning up the problem is ultimately strengthening the well being of faith communities as well.

The German sex abuse scandals have implications that go beyond Germany's borders. Similar stories happen in America as well. Every crime or crime spree should be studied in order that it not be repeated and so the public can be protected . The story of the Regensburg Cathedral school should be no different. Sphere: Related Content

Fantastic Goodies From The Sixties

Who picks which songs to revive as modern day hits? One of my favourites was "Don't Expect Me to Be Your Friend". It was a real sad breakup song. I'm sure it spoke for a lot of sad people. The song really deserves a second shot at fame.

Then there are those little novelty items. When I was about seven years old, back in the early sixties, they sold "Ratfinks", a tiny plastic rat carticature that could be worn on a cheap plastic ring. They had a face sort of like the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character and the initials RF on their chests. You could buy a five cent or a larger ten cent size Ratfink. When I started collecting stamps, the French stamps often had ""RF" on them, which stood for Republique Francaise. I used to visualise fiendish little Ratfinks scampering up and down the Eiffel Tower. I later found that there is a lot of "Ratfink" art out there.



Then there was "Ugly Stickers" Each one was the size of a baseball card. It had a person's name and a multicoloured ugly monster picture. They came in packs of bubble gum with one little piece of gum. There was about sixty of them. I am sure that kids today would like them as much as I did.

Then there was Rocky and Bullwinkle. The bad guy in that feature was Boris Badunov, who had a wife named Natasha who was twice his height as well as a Russian accent It was the perfect cold war cartoon.

My grandparents used to use MacLean's Toothpaste. I was crazy about it. Macleans used to make you feel like your mouth was on fire. You just assumed that the bacteria was dead as a doornail, even if it was all just perception. I used to be crazy about that toothpaste. Then some rocket scientist found out that it had chloroform, which is supposed to be a carcinogen. So that knocked the tingle out of it. I' don't worry about carcinogens. I believe that anxiety causes cancer..

Then there was "Fizzies" Fizzies were little tablets that fizzed like Alka Seltzer when you dropped them in water. They came presweetened and in various flavours. When I was a kid I used to like watching them as much as I did drinking them. They could easily make another comeback. If it comes out in a kosher variety, I am interested in it.

When I was at the World's Fair in New York in 1965, they sold foreign coins in the gum ball machines. It was a great idea, but I'll bet that some of the coins got recycled in the gum ball machines. Later on in the late sixties, Abbie Hoffman came out with "Steal This Book", which included a list of coins that could be used in vending machines, and parking meters. The book would be mostly obsolete today.

No matter what anyone says, there is no comparison to soft drinks in plastic bottles or cans and soda in glass bottles. I do see coke in glass bottles, but a lot of other companies could make a glass comeback. Fanta and Cott Cola bring back memories. Now that I think of it, there are a thousand different cola flavours. They could open a specialty store with colas from around the world. I used to get Pepsi from Barbados (In glass bottles) There is no question. Whether it is Coke or Pepsi, the same brand of cola tastes different depending on where it is bottled.

There are a lot of old TV shows. My Three Sons, which was about a widower raising his three sons with the help of an old man who had been in the Navy for most of his life. Hogan's Heroes though, had the perfect formula. It made the Nazis look ridiculous, and at the end of every episode you could be assured that there would be an explosion at a munitions dump someplace. There was a big debate over whether the Nazis were portrayed too nicely. Three major characters in the show were Jewish. Colonel Klink was played by Werner Klemperer. Sergeant Schulz was played by Johann Banner, who served a short time in a concentration camp (in the early years) before being allowed to leave Germany. Corporal LeBeau was played by Robert Clary (Robert Max Widerman, who was interned in Buchenwald. He was one of 14 children and the sole survivor of his family.

There are a lot of consumer products, songs and TV programs that could use a second try on the market. I hope someone out there is listening. There is a lot that was very good in the sixties. We should bring some of it back. When I show my kids gems from the sixties, they get hooked. I doubt that they are alone. It's worth a try. Nostalgia is good business.




Don't Expect Me To Be Your Friend by Lobo Sphere: Related Content

Yo Canada !

There is a list of questions I ask at least every ten days or so. Some are important, others less so. How is Zimbabwe doing? How is the former USSR doing ? Is Leonard Cohen going to put out any more albums? What about the Puhdys and all the other great East German rock groups. How many of them are still together? Will New York's Governor Paterson finish his term of office? How are the Samaritans doing in Israel? There is only about 700 of them. But they keep hanging in there. The list goes on and on. And that is what keeps me blogging. So today's question is "How is Canada doing?"


I always enjoyed going to Canada and noting the subtle differences between their ways and American ways. There is a noticeable shift in accent as well as occasional differences in spelling. Instead of the great linguistic divide being Spanish and English that we have here in America, in Canada it is French and English. The money has Queen Elizabeth II on it, because they belong to the Commonwealth of Nations.

My all time favourite part of Canada is Newfoundland. Until 1949 it was an independent country, as was the rest of Canada. Then it was absorbed by Canada. They have a beautiful accent that sounds to my untrained ear to be Scottish or Irish. I remember the breathtaking greenness of the landscape and the friendliness of its people. They have a half time zone so it is 4:30 in Newfoundland when it is 3:00 in New York or Boston. In the earlier days of aviation, Gander, Newfoundland was a common refueling stop on the way to Europe. The language remains distinct with some fascinating local words such as to "ballyrag" (abuse) and "gowdy (awkward) It is also well known for weird place names such as "Blow Me Down" and "Jerry's Nose".

Then there is Radio Canada. "The World At Six" and "Dispatches" are the two programs of which I am most fond. One is a nightly news broadcast. The other is a series of reports from around the world treated with depth. Both are available in podcast format I enjoy the detached intimacy of Radio Canada's American coverage.



I am never disappointed with Canadian Music. Alanis Morissette and Joni Mitchell are well known, as is Gordon Lightfoot. One of my favourite song lines comes from a song by Leonard Cohen. "Where do all these highways go, now that we are free?" I can reflect for hours on that.

There is a lot of undiscovered treasure in Canada. Back in 1972, I saw an exhibit of Eric Freifeld drawings when I was traveling with my parents. The name always stuck in my mind, thank G-d. I put his self portrait at the top of this page.

One thing I always like to check on is Canadian country music. I am sure that Charlie Major is famous all across Canada, but I just discovered him when I was checking out Canadian country music. His song "Nobody Gets Too Much Love" proves what I have always believed to be the difference between country music and regular pop. Country music is what I listen to when I reach for music about being married, having children and getting old. Pop music tends to focus on getting together and breaking up. If I need a song for what concerns in my 50's, I turn to country music. Country music has transplanted very well to Canada. There are also very good English and Australian country singers. The genre is truly world wide.

There are some countries that capture my imagination and my thoughts. Other places rarely cross my mind. Canada is like a neighbour that is in some ways like a sister. It is very similar to America in language but has branched out on its own path that is far more British than their large southern neighbour.

I will continue to look at regular intervals for good Canadian art and music. I am never disappointed when I do so. Thank you Canada. You are a good neighbour.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dtGwjGK_mM
Sphere: Related Content