Monday, April 14, 2008

Graceless Exit Award



Rudi Stettner gives the Graceless Exit Award to a public figure whose public "service" continues to last well into the twilight of his or her years. Where many offer the wisdom of a lifetime to share with a grateful public, recipients of the Graceless Exit Award must combine tenacity and audacity with delusions of competence. The misdeeds of their latter years should be so egregious as to erase any memory of their prior modest achievements.
The competition this year for the Graceless Exit Award is especially fierce. James Earl (Jimmy) Carter and Robert Magabe of Zimbabwe have each made a spirited bid for the award. Jimmy Carter has whitewashed the dictatorship in North Korea and ushered in a bloody theocracy in Iran.The manner in which he surrendered the Panama Canal to the control of a corrupt dictatorship gave a beach head to instability on yet another continent.He has undermined at every turn the united and dignified profile that former U.S. Presidents have shown the world. One would think that the swath of destruction cut during his term in office would humble Carter into penitential silence Instead, he has perpetuated the stench of the Carter Presidency with a series of pious pronouncements, books, articles and memoirs best forgotten . The main difficulty in bestowing this award to Carter is to find any achievements at all from his presidency that might have been overshadowed by his prolonged presence in the public spotlight.
Technically, Robert Mugabe should not be eligible for the Graceless Exit Award, since he has not yet left office. In a series of "elections" that would challenge even the elastic standards of Jimmy Carter, Mugabe has clung to the Zimbabwean presidency. In the process, he has destroyed the Zimbabwean economy, reducing much of the country to starvation and putting the value of most Zimbabwean banknotes on a par with an arm length of cheap toilet paper. The energy with which he clings to office and further destroys his country would humble a man half his age.
A year shy of Mugabe's eighty four years, Carter has proven himself to be Mugabe's equal in tenacity. Though he left office peacefully, he has worked behind the scenes to strengthen those whose contributions to the world have proven most injurious. Medical science has not yet classified his or Mugabe's delusions of competence as cases of bona fide mental illness.
So Mr. Carter and Mr. Mugabe are herewith awarded the Graceless Exit Award for a public visibility that lingers in the complete absence of any positive achievements. The award, which is to be shared equally by the contestants is one million Zimbabwe dollars, which has a value at this posting of U.S.$0.05 (and falling hourly).
Copyright 2008 By Magdeburger Joe Sphere: Related Content

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