Tuesday, July 8, 2008

European Union Faces Separatist Threat (Racist Babies)

Is Your Baby a Racist ?

(Hat tip to Wake Up America blog.)

The National Children's Bureau in Great Britain, in conjunction with the thought police elsewhere in the European Union have set out to root out racism among British toddlers. Antipathy to foreign foods is , according to experts in the NCB a possible indication of racism among toddlers. Early intervention to stem this crisis is deemed crucial.
According to the Sheila Daftley , a spokesperson for the British Association for Reform of Food, Education and Diet (B.A.R.F.E.D) , the problems with "culinary bigotry" among British children is far more pervasive than previously imagined.
"This is much more serious than we ever thought" exclaimed Ms. Daftley in an interview with Beaufort Bumbleby, a prominent journalist for the magazine World Commentary (W.C.) "The European Union is in serious danger of dissolution if we don't do something ."
During the lengthy interview, Ms. Daftley nibbled nervously at watercress finger sandwiches as she sipped from a pitcher of mineral water. Many of the foods so disfavoured by British toddlers are from continental Europe, according to a B.A.R.F.E.D. study that was recently completed Eighty three percent of British children polled refused to eat sauerkraut. Ninety six percent of the same study group refused to eat snails, even when they were baked into cute little animal crackers. Of those who refused to eat snails, a popular French delicacy, thirty two percent were reluctant to return to day care the next day. Dutch children reacted with similar disdain towards tripe, a tasty English delicacy consisting of chopped up pig's intestines. An ominous portent for the future of Italo British friendship was found in the total and vehement refusal to even try "casu marzu" , better known as Sardinian maggot cheese, a cheese in which maggots are cultivated and eaten with the cheese( Sardinian Maggot Cheese.)
"Even the parents backed up their children's refusal to eat casu marzu!" exclaimed Ms. Daftley disapprovingly. "This proves that prejudice is learned in the home. We will have to step up our home inspections".
Equally universal was the refusal to eat rak oret , a Norwegian Christmas delicacy prepared by burying lime sprinkled fish in the ground and digging it up as late as ten years later when it is in a state of advanced putrefaction. Sociologists working in conjunction with the B.A.R.F.E.D. team have speculated that the antipathy to rak oret among the British could be due to lingering resentment of the Viking attacks on Britain centuries ago.
What is seen as a direct attack on British participation in the European Union is the widespread refusal (89%) of the children participating in the study to eat Brussel's Sprouts. The symbolic rejection of Brussels as the capitol of a united Europe was not lost on B.A.R.F.E.D. researchers. According to Mrs. Daftley, even when offered pineapple pizza garnished with fried grasshoppers, the children in the study remained adamant in their refusal to eat the continental vegetable.
At the end of the study, a xenophobia quotient (x.q) was tabulated for each child in the study. Those with high x.q. scores had their case files forwarded to the European Court of Juvenile Justice and Reeducation in the Hague, located in the Netherlands. Their parents will be contacted soon by social workers from B.A.R.F.E.D. about reeducation opportunities in a residential setting.
"It is imperative that a united Europe have a united cuisine!" exclaimed Mrs. Daftley at the end of her W.C. interview as an attendant handed her a cup of pills. If we don't educate the younger generation, then the European Union has no future!"
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1 comment:

Findalis said...

I must have racist kids. Mine won't eat Brussel's Sprouts. They hate Belgium then. Although they do like Belgium Waffles.

So maybe they only hate Belgium veggies.