Saturday, November 29, 2008

My Battle Against Spammer-Scammers Continues

In my continuing battle to spread annoyance to internet scammers, I replied to one who was supposedly looking for love. Here is her(?) letter and my reply. After my reply is an announcement from my other site which pertains to this one. Here is the link.
My announcement to readers (posted on but also pertaining to this site)

My name is cynthia i was very happy when i saw your profile today in and it really attract me alot i believe that you are the man i have been looking for to share my love good interest with ; How is your health? i hope all is well with you. I believe that we can move from here by knowing each other well ; but remember that distance;age and color dose not matter what matters is the true love and understanding; in my next e-mail i shall include my photo; i will be waiting for your reply e-mail me with my e-mail address([email protected]) for further introduction. Bye my love
miss cynthia please remember to write me here([email protected])

Dear Cynthia,
I was so happy when my psychiatric social worker finally delivered my mail and your promising letter with it. Ever since being transferred to the minimum security wing, I have been able to get mail. They still restrict my access to sharp objects, including even staples in magazines. Boy the CIA still has it in for me.
Some of my friends who are not serving life sentences are being approved for conjugal visits. A lot of them met their wives through mail call. And they seem so happy.
It seems only fair that you should know about me before we continue our correspondence. I am into fitness. I lost 150 pounds, which still leaves my weight at 420 pounds. At a height of 4:11, this means I have more weight to lose It's still a challenge bathing myself, since most of the shower stalls here at the state hospital will not fit me. Fortunately, there is a garage where they wash the trucks into which I fit quite nicely.
My hobbies are reading poetry, listening to Marilyn Manson and taxidermy. The last hobby got me into trouble when it turned out that one of my trophies was human.(They didn't believe me when I said he was dead anyhow). But that's minor. The truth is, I'm being persecuted for my religion. Just when the Buddhists, the Muslims and the Christians can all agree that I am The messiah, the last imam ant the last incarnation of the Buddha, I get locked up before can save humanity.They keep trying to kill my gift of prophecy with drugs, but I won't stop until I can ride my donkey across a bed of palm fronds in the streets of Jerusalem.
I am looking for a special woman who can be my Mary Magdalene, my Fatima and my Squeaky Fromm all rolled up into one. Once I find this special woman, we can ascend into heaven together and fulfill my latest prophetic revelation.( Prophecy of Bilaam to the Meteories and the Transvestites 12:11).
I hope that you will reply to my letter. Perhaps you are woman who can usher in the new age with me. As a test of your pure intentions, I need you to put 500 dollars on your window sill by the light of the full moon and to mail it to me with cakes of fine flour baked with olive oil. The money should be baked into the cakes.
Please hasten to reply to me, so I can be anointed as the last Buddha, the Twelfth Imam and the Messiah.

I eagerly await your reply

Cosmically Yours

Muhammed Ali Buddha David ben Yeshua

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