Friday, January 8, 2010

Armed Robbery in Oklahoma & Getting Even

I was just saw a video on Fox News about a robbery in a cell phone store. Some chromosomal human was pulling a little girl around by the hair and pointing a gun at her head when she attempted to come to the defense of her father who was being beaten by armed robbers. The perps got away with a laptop computer and some other electronics.

I think we are becoming deadened to the indignation we should feel at this sort of crime. I see some possible ways of cutting down on such crime. For starters, it should be permitted for storekeepers to have firearms. In grocery stores and other places where I live, sometimes there is an elevated observation post where the manager or a security guard can get the drop on anyone in the store, calling police or administering a bit of lead implantation therapy.

Anyone who covers their face in a retail establishment should be presumed to be committing a crime. Women in burkas might be an exception.

In New York City, there are too many cell phone store robberies that I have heard about. There have also been Ipod robberies and strong arm theft of other electronics. I feel that there should be a "fingerprint chip" in any piece of electronics. I want to be able to use a laptop or a Kindle on the subway or in the park. If someone wants to take such a piece of electronics, it should be possible to activate a tracking chip that would work like Lo-jack does with cars, broadcasting a signal to cops. I believe that this is a service that is offered for laptops. But it should be widespread and a part of any piece of electronic hardware that is attractive to thieves. Such devices need to become commonplace enough that they constitute a genuine deterrent to theft.

My fantasy product would of course be completely illegal. It would be an automobile anti theft device known as "BlowJack". Blowjack would work as follows. It would cause the vehicle in which it is installed to stall and lock its doors when "Blowjack" is activated. It would then set off a concussion grenade inside the car. This would cause hearing damage, damage to internal organs without damaging the car itself. A more benign version would simply set off a smoke grenade. This might be useful for aborting carjackings.

I heard a touching story about an Arab terrorist who had serious blood on his hands. The Israelis rigged up his cell phone with plastic explosives. They called him up and detonated the cell phone when they heard his voice. The Israelis were promptly condemned for "targeted assasinations". Isn't that the best kind?

We have fairly regular drug shootings where I live. Sometimes, the people who make the rest of us miserable kill each other off and spare the justice system the expense.

On the petty theft end of things, there are other ways to get satisfaction. I used to work in a laid back place where you could drink a beer with your lunch. A friend of mine kept getting his beer swiped by an anonymous thief. One day, he replaced his beer with an amber coloured liquid that he had brewed himself, if you get what I mean. After that, no one messed with his beer.

Another friend of mine had a co worker who took long bathroom breaks, always right after his lunch. One day, my friend lifted up the toilet seat and taped two ketchup packets from McDonalds to the little plastic buffers under the toilet seat. He put pinholes in the ketchup packets and gently put down the toilet seat. When his co worker sat down with his newspaper, he got his glutius maximus and a couple of other things sprayed with ketchup. Problem solved. No more long toilet breaks.

I generally avoid seeking revenge. But I love to hear about it. I guess that deep in the heart of every meek soul is a wild animal seeking satisfaction. Sphere: Related Content

No comments: