Thursday, March 4, 2010

PETA Wants To Castrate Berlin Polar Bear

PETA has finally shot itself in the ummm foot in what promises to be a public relations disaster in Berlin. The Berlin Zoo has a polar bear named Knut, who as a fuzzy little cub developed an adoring following among the Berlin citizenry. Now it seems that Knut is well into adolescence and has the interests in the opposite sex to match. Knut has fallen in love with a young lady bear, who like him is of the polar persuasion.

PETA has stepped in and determined that Knut and his lady love share the same grandfather. I guess that would mean that they are cousins. PETA has decided that such a marriage would be genetically disadvantageous. What is their solution? Off with his knuts ! The champions of animal rights want to castrate Knut, a procedure I doubt they would approve of for themselves. The Local, a Berlin newspaper in English reports as follows on the nefarious designs of PETA.

"Knut is doing just fine, thank you. Berlin’s leading furry citizen is all grown-up. No longer an adorable celebrity fuzzball, Knut’s become a man – so to speak. He’s even got a live-in girlfriend at his small yet centrally located bear pad in the German capital. The only thing missing for an ursine happily-ever-after to this story is a couple of cute cubs of his own. That is, if it weren’t for the killjoys at Peta. This week the animal rights group claimed that Knut and his lady Giovanna shared the same grandfather – which could lead to detrimental inbreeding should the two decide to start a family. The solution? Castrate Knut!"
PETA picked the wrong city to mess with. The Berlin hockey team is known as "die Eisbaren" or "the polar bears". European sports fans take their teams very seriously. Teams commonly have a team song, which all good fans must know. The Puhdys, one of the greatest rock bands of all time composed a team song for the Eisbaren which has become the team standard. The song is called "Hey ! Wir Wollen Die Eisbaren Sehen" which translates as "Hey, We Want to See The Polar Bears !" It has been sung at plenty of hockey games and evokes images of polar bears that look cuddy and lovable, as long as you keep your distance.

PETA has finally shown their true colours. They don't really even care about animals. In a democracy they can be voted down or voted out of office. But in the zoo or the dog pound, who is going to argue with them. I eat beef burgers at every opportunity, but I think I understand Knut a lot better than the leaf chomping granola munching veggie fascists at PETA.

If the people of Berlin have their way, Knut and his lady love are going to have a candle light steak dinner in their little love nest. And there will be a bunch of little polar bears around, eating Gerber's Baby Polar Bear food, which hopefully will come in Pureed PETA Activist flavour for maximum enjoyment.

You kind of have to expect this sort of thing from PETA. They will not get Knut or his cousin and lady love to convert to vegetarianism. And PETA does not like to take no for an answer. One good growl from Knut and they probably scrambled away from his cage as fast as they could go. So what do they do? They tried talking to the zookeeper. Sneaky little creeps ! Fortunately, the people of Berlin got wind of it.

What more proof do you need of how little PETA cares for anyone but themselves. Don't worry, Knut. The people of Berlin have your back. And so do meat eaters like you all around the world. We sit at the top of the food chain too, and we like it just fine

The following song "Hey! Wir Wollen die Eisbaren Sehen! " is dedicated to Knut, the Berlin polar bear.

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